35 replies to this topic

[santa]

Well Doc,

I am sure you have everything you need/want, understanding beautiful wife, respectable practice, years and years supply of Wolf Crooks, cases of Fart spray, Sheep Sex dolls, what could you possible need???

Come sit on Santa's lap and let me know your desires this year!

[SeeGars]

Well Santy, I am in desparate need of a pocket pussy. Mine broke recently despite a lifetime guarantee from the manufacturer. It will need to be of extra, extra large size though... heh....

I also love anything salty or crunchy; I'm not really a sweets kind of guy.

Hmnnnn, relative to cigars, I favor PC's or Lonnies or lanceros.

Other than that, I am easy to please.

Thanks Santa!!!

[buzzed]

I noticed at the last herf that his inflatable sheep was a little stretched out in the bunghole region so he could probably use a new one.

[lordlister]

buzzed, on 26 November 2009 - 12:04 PM, said:

I noticed at the last herf that his inflatable sheep was a little stretched out in the bunghole region so he could probably use a new one.

Why were you eying his inflatable sheep's nether regions? Looks like someone's getting some coal this year

[buzzed]

lordlister, on 26 November 2009 - 12:56 PM, said:

Why were you eying his inflatable sheep's nether regions? Looks like someone's getting some coal this year

Why wouldn't I be? I am from Texas, we like our sheep.

[santa]

Ahh!

Another broken FleshLight, and a ripped sphincter on you Lamby, not good at all, let me see what I can do...

What other holes have you violated?? Only for future gifts mind you!

Top of my head (without too much thought) I can see a latex repair kit, I latex glove (should last a tad longer then the Fleshlight), some type of lube that does not attack latex, maybe some Cheeto's and Middleton Cherry Blends (I think they are Lanceros)

[SeeGars]

Can the cheetos be expired from the trash bin Santy?

I've never had those before!

[Fuente Fan]

buzzed, on 26 November 2009 - 12:04 PM, said:

I noticed at the last herf that his inflatable sheep was a little stretched out in the bunghole region so he could probably use a new one.

That was not streached out for most people.

[SeeGars]

HEY!

I keep her nice n tight!!!!

[SeeGars]

SANTY??

[smokering]

SeeGars, on 04 December 2009 - 09:50 AM, said:

PANTY??

Fixed it for you Tim, and yes Santa said he was going to include at least one soiled one for you. He's just waiting on Gordon to finish a week of chili eating and Bud drinking to collect.

[buzzed]

Santa, Timmy may need some new dancing shoes since he wore his out while dancing all they way to the Dancing With the Stars Mirror Ball Trophy!

[Fuente Fan]

Maybe some balls, since I heard his were missing now.

[santa]

Well Santa is having a little trouble in procuring a Rubber Lamby!

Seems all the stock on Lamby's with abnormally small bungholes are sold out, the Chinese cornered the market last week!

The elves could not find a FleshLight in your size either, they start at normal girth and length, we all know that you are sub-par on both of these!

They called when they were at the "Naughty" store so Santa told them to get some lube, another FAIL, seems the clerk told them that Anal Lube would help the receiver of said "dirty deed", the giver would also be numbed hence no pent up relief!

Now the really bad part, the Middleton's Cherry Blends are just to high $ wise and the garbage man just swapped dumpsters from the local Kroger's, SO, no Cheeto's!!!!

This is getting tough!!!

Time is running out and Santa does not want to BURN IN HELL FOREVER!!!!

Edited by santa, 08 December 2009 - 09:26 AM.

[SeeGars]

Santa, I sense your frustration, why don't you just send me some stale cheetos!!! They give me the stinky farts... heh...

OOps, damn, missed that in your post. Maybe you can go to the local 7-11 and ask Habib for some cheetos or some of the backwoods cheroots that he has been aging in the sunlight on the windowsill?

[SeeGars]

Hmnnn, Santa's prose above reminds me of someone... hmnnn....

[Fuente Fan]

Donna?

[santa]

Ah hell, just throw that 6 foot strap on in there and I will drop it off at Tim's.

[SeeGars]

TapTap Tap....

[santa]

Looks like this Santa is going to "BURN IN HELL"

Your tiny package will arrive on Tuesday!

[SeeGars]

Thanks Hev!

[SeeGars]

oKAY sANTA

You are really starting to piss me off. I thought you were Brad because your paragraph above sounds like him. I notice the origin of this package is Erie, Pa.... Hmnnnn, another thing that sounds like Brad....

DAMMIT!!!! Brad says he was Buzzed's santa.

Did one of you fuckers send the package to Brad and have him mail it to throw me off????????

And, the package, HOLY SHIT!!!! YOu fuckers just dump the contents of your HTF humi into a box and ship it????

AND BOOZE?????

WTF?????

Edited by SeeGars, 15 December 2009 - 11:15 AM.

[smokering]

Sounds like you got Santatized Timmy!!! Good job santa......

[hev]

Yeah you got me Timmy, it was me, even though Id already sent to Ron. Now if you want to send me something as thanks anyway, I wont object.

[SeeGars]

Friggin Hev!!!!!!!!

[SeeGars]

Okay Santa, gimme a hint!

[santa]

Erie, Pa. WTF, Santa is from the North Pole!!

[SeeGars]

FUck you Santa

I'm gonna find out who you are and F U C K Y O U U P!!!!!

DAMN!

OBAN 14 yr is great straight up!!!!!!!

[Tone-NY]

SeeGars, on 15 December 2009 - 09:19 PM, said:

FUck you Santa

I'm gonna find out who you are and F U C K Y O U U P!!!!!

DAMN!

OBAN 14 yr is great straight up!!!!!!!

Begezus! It's called Secret Santa! I think you've been huffing too much botox!

[SeeGars]

LOL!

I hate a mystery!!!!!

[smokering]

Want a hint....?

[SeeGars]

Um.... hmnnn...

I suppose it doesn't really matter since I have Santy's smokes n booze!

THANKS SANTA!!!

[Coors Collector]

Yeah, he needs a clue alright . . . .

[SeeGars]

Coors Collector, on 16 December 2009 - 05:16 PM, said:

Yeah, he needs a clue alright . . . .

BITCH!!!! By the way, your check is in da male!!!

[Fuente Fan]

Is Timmy the only one who doesn't know?

[SeeGars]

Sorry, Timmy too drunk on Santa's booze!