44 replies to this topic

[JohnD13]

I am posting here instead of CF since the auction is over there and I do not want to start anything over there...

It's great and all that Sparks is auctioning off the cigars. However, how does he insure it is used appropriately by Chris' kids? From what I remember, there was a bit of a controversy with his daughter a while back...I mean what is to keep them from buying beer, illegal substances, etc...?

I'm just asking...

[SAF]

Oh c'mon Nancy, ask this over there.

[reflex]

JohnD13, on 03 March 2010 - 01:39 PM, said:

I am posting here instead of CF since the auction is over there and I do not want to start anything over there...

It's great and all that Sparks is auctioning off the cigars. However, how does he insure it is used appropriately by Chris' kids? From what I remember, there was a bit of a controversy with his daughter a while back...I mean what is to keep them from buying beer, illegal substances, etc...?

I'm just asking...

Or possibly very short video's of women licking each other!

[TheMuskyDude]

Sadly there most likely is no way to ensure the $$$ are used appropriately. I know she was young and Chris was a sudden grandfather, pretty sure she was 16 when she got pregnant. He cancelled out of our yearly salmon fishing trip because she was due around then. I doubt any sort of trust fund had been setup for the kid so you just have to hope the daughter has "grown up" by now.

It's just a sad situation no matter how you slice it, Chris was a great guy and I'm happy I got to know him.

Steve probably has more insight on the exact situation since he's local.

[AmbassadorMark]

I seem to recall a few of his Daughter's posts at CF. Seemed rather obvious to me she was blatantly attempting to use the good will of the CF folks. I hope it somehow works out for all involved.

[chenvt]

wow that's sad to see if the daughter is doing that

[JohnD13]

AmbassadorMark, on 03 March 2010 - 09:48 PM, said:

I seem to recall a few of his Daughter's posts at CF. Seemed rather obvious to me she was blatantly attempting to use the good will of the CF folks. I hope it somehow works out for all involved.

I was looking for those threads to see if my memory was correct but could not find them.

[Da Ali G]

How old are the kids?

[Gee-Man]

JohnD13, on 04 March 2010 - 06:42 AM, said:

I was looking for those threads to see if my memory was correct but could not find them.

She's MissMitchell08. She was surprised about how much love and respect eveyone had for her father.

[JohnD13]

Gee-Man, on 04 March 2010 - 08:09 AM, said:

She's MissMitchell08. She was surprised about how much love and respect eveyone had for her father.

Yes everyone did and does. THe post she made that had some people goung "Huh"? Was:

So my car is going to break down here shortly..
my muffler just completely fell off..
i need a new belt for my engine because its cracked.
the bolts that hold my engine are loose and are causing it to shake and then my lower radiator hose is coming loose because of that.
So i need some help trying to find myself a new car before school starts here in August. I think the saddest part is that no one will help me pay for one...even though alot of money was raised to help my brothers and I. My Aunt has told me that i cannot use any of that money to help pay for some of a new car, and that i have to find out some other way to pay for it. i guess that they want to teach me how to save my money in order to buy a better car, but they just dont understand that i have to pay for all of these other things as well..and my 7.00 an hour job doesnt allow me to save any money. So if anyone could give me some advise in what i should do about this situation plaese let me know!

Edited by JohnD13, 04 March 2010 - 09:01 AM.

[AmbassadorMark]

JohnD13, on 04 March 2010 - 09:01 AM, said:

Yes everyone did and does. THe post she made that had some people goung "Huh"? Was:

So my car is going to break down here shortly..
my muffler just completely fell off..
i need a new belt for my engine because its cracked.
the bolts that hold my engine are loose and are causing it to shake and then my lower radiator hose is coming loose because of that.
So i need some help trying to find myself a new car before school starts here in August. I think the saddest part is that no one will help me pay for one...even though alot of money was raised to help my brothers and I. My Aunt has told me that i cannot use any of that money to help pay for some of a new car, and that i have to find out some other way to pay for it. i guess that they want to teach me how to save my money in order to buy a better car, but they just dont understand that i have to pay for all of these other things as well..and my 7.00 an hour job doesnt allow me to save any money. So if anyone could give me some advise in what i should do about this situation plaese let me know!

That's the one in particular that I recalled.

[SRex]

Yep. The above is true locally also.

Crashez (CF) and Tuse (here and CF) are closer to the kids than I am, but I'm somewhat close to the 3 kids. The oldest, Chris Jr. has his head screwed on pretty straight, but it's taken a while. I would be happy to contact him and make sure he disperses the money. Alisha and Ryan are still a mess, but are having to grow up without benefit of the guidance that only a parent can give. I keep in contact with the kids via facebook and talk to them occasionally.

Let me know if there is anything you guys want to know or contact nfo for the kids.

[Prizetek]

Some of you really have pretty good memories for this stuff.

[Tech]

Sadly I see a career of selling watches on Shop-MSNBC in her future if something doesn't change.

[JohnD13]

Prizetek, on 04 March 2010 - 11:23 AM, said:

Some of you really have pretty good memories for this stuff.

The bad and "Hmmm" stick with me for some reason.... The good stuff, I forget pretty soon...lol

[Da Ali G]

Let me rephrase my ignored question...

Are any of these kids still minors?

[AmbassadorMark]

At the end of the day, there's a chance it might end up helping the kids. Obviously, that is good. It is being done in the name of a great guy, so that is good as well. The people doing are doing so with both eyes open, again, good. And at the end of the day, we're not talking tons of money here, so it seems to me, all is good.

[TheMuskyDude]

If an aunt is in charge of the money, it's probably a good thing. The fact she had to make that post looking for $$$$ for her car is a good thing. Probably wanted to piss away a ton of money on a brand new car, and was told to pound sand.

Just hope the kids can get thru school and with some hard work make the best of life. Sucks they'll do it without their dad who from what I gathered was the foundation. I think I remember Chris telling me one of that wenches Tammy's kids was living with him after she F'd that up and moved to FL. She didn't even want to be with her mother and it wasn't his kid but he let her stay with him. That's the kind of great guy he was.

[SRex]

The youngest, Ryan is still a minor.

Yes, it is what it is, but the kids don't have any parent to take care of them. I think it's a great idea to pass a few dollars their way. Several here in the Cities have done so when necessary.

[TheMuskyDude]

Hey Steve, email me. You still in for the trip this year? 1 or 2 people. I need to get people confirmed. Thanks.

[Van55]

When Craney decided to do a fund raiser for Jason (Tarheel4lyf) and his family, we had similar concerns. The donations were made payable to me, and I set up a checking account. Jason was aware of the amount raised and asked me to write checks on the account for the family's needs, the biggest of which was making his payment to the trustee in bankruptcy.

In any event, choose a local trusted person who is willing to undertake the task and have him disburse funds as requested by Waliguy's daughter for worthwhile reasons.

[Pete]

sparks and I have been in contact about disbersement of the money. I offered to help when he started this. Since I did a couple things on the original Wali auction I thought it might appropriate. I told him, I would mete out funds in whatever manner he requested. It was ironic when I read the post by Alicia about her car also. Having just pushed $21k to them I was pretty put off by that post. However I did chalk it up to a very young, single mom who was essentially a ship without a rudder. I believe that assessment was correct and that she has matured since.

Valid points, all. In the end I applaud sparks for his efforts and think no more about it. What is appropriate use of the money? Who's to say? It boils down to judgement as well as subjectivity. If Chris jr. decides to drop all his cash on cigars is that ok while his brother uses it for school books? Can Alicia buy baby food but not beer? It's a slippery slope deciding what it can be used for which is why I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it. We're not talking about a multimillion dollar trust fund afterall.

[PlayadelSoul]

MissMitchell08 just asked if she could have Waliguy's box of the Decades, over on CF. Going to get intersting.

[TheMuskyDude]

Ohhh boy just popped over there and saw that. Probably thinks they're actually worth 1K+ or something. LOL

[PlayadelSoul]

TheMuskyDude, on 05 March 2010 - 08:54 PM, said:

Ohhh boy just popped over there and saw that. Probably thinks they're actually worth 1K+ or something. LOL

Kind of lends credence to John´s original concerns.

Edited by PlayadelSoul, 05 March 2010 - 09:05 PM.

[Souldog]

PlayadelSoul, on 05 March 2010 - 08:50 PM, said:

MissMitchell08 just asked if she could have Waliguy's box of the Decades, over on CF. Going to get intersting.

Any update on this? (For those of us who don't go there much anymore...)

[Stormin']

Now she's posting about her daughter's father requesting partial custody of her daughter. I hate to see her do this. Every time she pokes her head into CF, she seems to be asking for money or help. She grew up without without her mother, and now her father is gone, but I hope she can grow up and start acting like a responsible adult.

[JohnD13]

Pete, on 05 March 2010 - 07:33 PM, said:

sparks and I have been in contact about disbersement of the money. I offered to help when he started this. Since I did a couple things on the original Wali auction I thought it might appropriate. I told him, I would mete out funds in whatever manner he requested. It was ironic when I read the post by Alicia about her car also. Having just pushed $21k to them I was pretty put off by that post. However I did chalk it up to a very young, single mom who was essentially a ship without a rudder. I believe that assessment was correct and that she has matured since.

Valid points, all. In the end I applaud sparks for his efforts and think no more about it. What is appropriate use of the money? Who's to say? It boils down to judgement as well as subjectivity. If Chris jr. decides to drop all his cash on cigars is that ok while his brother uses it for school books? Can Alicia buy baby food but not beer? It's a slippery slope deciding what it can be used for which is why I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it. We're not talking about a multimillion dollar trust fund afterall.

I guess if you think Waliguy would have given them money for something, that's as good a standard as any.

I'm not sure I'm encouraged by Alicia's actions over at CF. I'd hate to think people were being played in any way, shape or form. Personally, I am not contributing this time but others are and that is great for them.

[Norton]

Tough scenario for the kids. Tammy bailed and Chris passed on. Has to be brutally hard for them. If I had some spare money I'd send it and let them spend it any way they want. I can't imagine what they have been through.

[JohnD13]

Norton, on 09 March 2010 - 11:44 AM, said:

Tough scenario for the kids. Tammy bailed and Chris passed on. Has to be brutally hard for them. If I had some spare money I'd send it and let them spend it any way they want. I can't imagine what they have been through.

Aren't they all 18+ years old?

[SRex]

I believe they are. The youngest just turned 18 late last year.

They have been through a lot, but they also all need to work toward becoming productive adults. Some are and others, not so much.

If am man wants a dollar to eat, but won't go with you to a resaurant for a meal, I have to question how hungry he is. I will say no more.

[Norton]

18 or not, I can't imagine the sorrow.

[Tech]

I think we all have a great deal of respect for Chris. That said there is a fine line between assisting somebody and enabling a pattern of behavior. In my opinion she needs to stop posting at CF other than to say thanks as it starts to look like the latter.

[AmbassadorMark]

It is a bit sad to see this whole deal exposed on the internet. Not exactly the memory or legacy for Chris I think everyone would like to see.

[SRex]

Message me if anyone would like to talk more about this. I also don't want anything else posted for the world to read.

[AmbassadorMark]

SRex, on 09 March 2010 - 02:00 PM, said:

Message me if anyone would like to talk more about this. I also don't want anything else posted for the world to read.

SRex, no disrespect at all intended but I believe this request would be best served by young MissMitchell abiding by it. I will however honor your request as I also believe that is the correct thing to do.

[SmokeCheck]

AmbassadorMark, on 09 March 2010 - 01:29 PM, said:

It is a bit sad to see this whole deal exposed on the internet. Not exactly the memory or legacy for Chris I think everyone would like to see.

I didn't "know" Chris, and I don't know the kids. I know a bunch of you guys do know the family personally and I will defer to you in the end, but I would like to put forth my opinion on how this seems to be playing out.

Regarding the 163 cigars...if Chris was not overlooked because he was deceased, and in fact there is a box that was slotted to go to him (as far as the list goes) the his kids should definitely have them. I see no issue with that at all, and I don't believe for a second that Alicia had any ulterior motives in asking for them. Who else would get them? Let that go and don't vilify her because she asked.

It is sad, in my opinion, that this is playing out like this on the internet. I hope Alicia or the other kids are not reading this stuff, because quite frankly I think it is hurtful on top of a loss that is plenty enough pain in and of itself. I would implore you guys that were close to Chris to think about how he would feel knowing these words and speculations might affect his children, how the last thing he would want for Alicia would be for her to be dragged through the mud over a box of mediocre cigars, or as a result of what might be her misguided impression (after such a heartfelt, warm and generous outpouring of affection for Chris and his family after his death) that she could come to this group of his friends with her hat in her hand looking for help.

She is a young mother, and still just a child herself. She has many years to become educated in how the world works on your own...that education is definitely forthcoming...lets give her the benefit of the doubt here. We all have/will make mistakes. She's not mooching...she's asking for some help/advice from her father's friends. Sometimes the answer is "No"...that is one of the lessons I am certain she has already learned, but it doesn't need to come with a beat down as well.

When I first read the thread about her car troubles, all I could think was that I wished I could help. If I'd lived nearby, I'd swing by and see if I could get under the hood and make some repairs, or maybe help sell the car and aid in finding another vehicle to get her by until things came together for her...not vilify her as a mooch. The crew of CFers that put together, and donated so very much in the auctions to help this family out are a terrific bunch of guys. It has been truely heartwarming to see that happen, and I won't presume to say that the benefit of those auctions should be handed over with "no strings attached, but really, at the end of the day...when we log off for the night, it is Alicia and her brothers that lay in bed at night wondering what the future (tomorrow) brings for them and how to deal with the challenges. My heart goes out to them, and if they make some mistakes along the way, so be it. That is life and none of us are perfect.

I remember a bit by George Carlin about how people at funerals, or after the death of a friend always say stuff like, "If there is anything you need, anything, don't hesitate to ask." His response was, "I need my garage painted. " I am sure that those words...not the garage part...had been spoken to Alicia and her siblings many times, by many people. Don't fault her now for asking, and if you weren't one of the one's that put forth that declaration, then stay out of it...she not asking you.

Just my two cents worth.

[AmbassadorMark]

Everything considered, moki, I would vote to delete this thread. This isn't a matter of censorship or freedom of speech.

[SmokeCheck]

I second the motion.

[cjswag]

I third that motion. Good idea, Mark.

And if Pete is helping mete out the money, there is no one I would trust more. I don't think there's another person in the world I trust more than Pete. His judgement is golden as far as I'm concerned, and nobody would be better in doing what Chris would want.